oh, trust me. i WILL cause chaos. it’s proven.

ok, so there’s this test, you see.

if i remember correctly, it’s a test “they” (i have no idea who “they” are, as i have no access to classified information) used to use in the Navy to measure compatibility amongst guys in the submarines to test for what otherwise “normal” behaviors become “derailers” when under stress.

Now think about it.

Those dudes in submarines were probably under just a teeny weeny bit of stress at times given that they were hundreds of feet underwater in extremely close quarters sleeping in tiny little beds and had to share a bathroom the size of a shoe for months at a time.  Oh, yeah, and they were in combat.  bygones (really?).

So it’s probably important that they all get along, or they would punch each other in the face all the time and thus be highly ineffective.

Now, having said all of the above, i have no idea of i made this all up in my mind, but i do specifically remember someone leading this test for our team telling us that story, and to be honest, it made perfect sense and stuck in my brain like many other useless stories that i probably would never need again…

until now.

bwahhhaaahhhhahhhh  (that’s how you type a dracula laugh).

Because, you see, i had the opportunity to take the “derailer” test as part of a leadership team offsite.  At times, at NIKE, i would say it probably doesn’t get as heated as those men & women down in the submarines, but it gets close. So our leader thought this was a great idea to take this very same test.

It wasn’t great.  It was amazing.  It changed my life, because it finally explained something i have been doing my whole life, and WHY.

So to my boss-at-the-time (who if she is reading this will know who she is), i THANK YOU!!!!

In a sentence:  the derailer exam is a test (on which supposedly it is impossible to cheat) that shows qualities that everyone possesses that are positive when under normal conditions, but become derailers when you’re under severe f*%king stress.

Here are mine:  Pleaser, Melodramatic, Mischevious.

I love them.  I own them.  No three words have ever been more true about me, and those of you that know me know it.   And the best part of all???  THEY WORK AGAINST EACH OTHER!!!  Seriously!  I have to please everyone, but yet if things get too calm, and i’m stressed as crap, i will CREATE a shit ton of chaos because i’m a mischievous son of a bitch!  And throughout the whole pleaser-creating-chaos moment, i’m doing it with such drama thatishouldreallywinanacademyaward.

OK, ok, OKAY!!!!  how the hell does this relate to photography?  it DOESN’T!!!  But, if you have read any of my past blogs, you know that in some way i can bring it around.  So here we go.

Tint and Temperature.  A way, for me, to express my derailers.

ok, let’s take the first one:  PLEASER.

Let’s just say you have a photo that is good.  it’s got really great potential.  You don’t need to do much, but just want to make it happier.  PLEASE IT.

First, the path to get there.  We’ll use my friend Nick Taylor as our guinea pig.  Probably the most amazing, talented, and KIND kid ever.   Oh, and did i mention he is one of the best wakeskaters on the PLANET?  And he CARES about this planet, so trust me, he will change the world.

So, let’s go through the steps on Tint & Temperature:

1) go to iphoto and pull up your picture.  screen should look like this:

(Friends…meet Nick Taylor.  Go ahead, Google him)

2) click on the #2 pencil (“edit” for you HTML people).  Then this comes up:

3) click on the little rainbow thingy on the far right that says “adjust”.  Now, you’re screen should look like this:

now look at the 2 dials at the bottom that read temperature & tint.  They will become your BFF’s.  But with this photo, i don’t want to radically change the photo.  I mean, really,  it’s Nick.  He’s on a longboard.  He’s totally stoked.  So let’s not screw with this too much.  But if i take the temperature “bar” to -44 (towards the blue) and the tint “bar” to -79 (towards the purple), check out the difference (i’ll re-post original alongside the new):

there you go.  Pleasing.  Pleaser.  subtle, yet magnificent (and so is the photo).

Here is another example of the “Pleaser” example of T&T (my new abbreviation for this trick):

this amazing sunset at our new house construction had the “eggplant” variation: no blue, but a -57 on purple.

OK.  to the next derailer:  MELODRAMATIC.

Oh, i love this one.  It’s the soap opera.  It’s the, “really, are you getting this emotional about it?” photo.  Takes it a step further than the pleaser.  Same steps, just being a bit more bold with the T&T (Temp & Tint, duh!):

(yesssss.. daughter again).   Notice how playing with the T&T totally gives the photo definition.  But the key here is that if you JUST saw the second one, you’d really never question that it was tinkered with.  You’d never think “oh, she totally changed that from the original.”  But you’d love the definition and appreciate the photo, right?

here’s another melodrama:

simple, subtle, but with enough drama to make you want to fly to Punta de Mita, Mexico TONIGHT.  do not let the door hit you on the way out.

OK, one more:

from a douchebag, to a DOUCHEBAG.  (that’s a “shower” bag in French… oh, the drama).

Ok, now for the grand finale.  the real reason that Tint & Temperature should exist.  The MISCHEVIOUS. The one that, when you have a photo you love, and you’ve boosted the color, you’ve shot it at an angle, you’ve done everything to make it great, but you just feel like it needs to go over the edge.  Well, that’s when T&T come in fabulously.  Before i show you, know that this works ONLY with the right photo.  You can’t do this to just any photo.  I have found it works best with nature photos. Not people or objects.  Simply nature.  Now, if you find something that proves me wrong, i totally want to see it.  This is just from my experience.  So the following photos of extreme tint and temperature are dramatic, rebel against complacency, and cause mischief (note: I will always start with the original):

breathless, right?  same photos, but creating chaos.

just wait:

(this is Rio, and you should go.)

And now, for the grand finale. You should recognize this photo from my “blackbirds” post.  I took it in Park city this Christmas.  And with the light as it was, i took advantage of just creating complete CHAOS with it:

sooooooo…. there you have it.  3 derailers, 3 ways to use tint & texture to your photo editing pleasure.  And if you are on a PC, i am SURE you have a photo editing program on there that probably uses different words but does the same exact shit.  It won’t take long to figure out, and it will be worth it.

And if any of you doubt that i totally made up this story about the Navy, the submarines, the test, and the derailers, i will leave you with the following photo, which is of a pair of Dunks that, upon leaving to my next adventure at NIKE, my team made for me on the lazer machine.  I have never worn them, and they are proudly displayed in my office for my derailers to embrace every day.  click on any one of them to blow it up, then read the toe (or vamp, in sneaker speak):

these are real.  as real as the derailers that make me who i am.

love yourself.

until the next,


This entry was posted in Corradini Photo, humor, image, nike, photograhy tips, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to oh, trust me. i WILL cause chaos. it’s proven.

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention oh, trust me. i WILL cause chaos. it’s proven. | throughbrowneyes -- Topsy.com

  2. Laura Hunter says:

    I cannot wait to EXPOSE you to some new CHAOS during Spring Break!
    The ultimate MELODRAMATIC!

  3. betsy says:

    I love it!!! I am now looking at photography in a whole new light 🙂
    I will play! It WILL be fun..
    Thanks AC

  4. Great post as always, I love the mischievous and melodramatic. I think I can relate 😉

  5. Abby says:

    So…I actually never knew what the hell you were talking ahoy all these times you spoke of “detainers”…but! Now that I do! I understand you so much better now !! And you are right- they fit you perfectly!!! Great blog..xoxo

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